


Dont Make Promises You Cant Keep

by NepetasDisciple



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NepetasDisciple/pseuds/NepetasDisciple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You cant help but to feel guilt, while she... she seems to be swallowed in her own emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dont Make Promises You Cant Keep

“Why the fuck do you even like me?" 

“I..... I don't know." 

Karkat gave a sigh, himself running his fingers through his scruffy hair. The Leo a few feet away from him. Boxes unturned, a flushed picture staring back at Karkat. The paint on the wall still wet and glimmering in the dim light. Nepeta looking up to it, embarrassment flooding her cheeks as she let out a sigh. 

“I supaws, um, suppose I wanted to tell you my true feeling but..." she trailed off, herself taking off the cat hat that laid upon her head. Her black locks, messy and mane like poofing up now that they were free from the cloth prison. Taking the hat, she pulled at its black button eyes, trying to continue. Tears starting to form from her eyes, not out of sadness or self-pity, but of frustration. Her words failing her as she tried to speak. This was starting to become increasingly difficult. 

Karkat tisked, himself shaking his head ever so slightly. He knew where this conversation was going and he didn't like it. He turned his head to look away, clawing at the left sleeve of his sweater. “Nepeta, we hardly know each other ok? We knew each other for a sweep, maybe even half of one before the game, what you’re feeling... I think you need to reevaluate your feelings for me ok? “He spoke out softly. 

For a while there was an awkward pause between the two. Each second adding a sort of sadistic anxiety to the situation in his mind. He turned his head back to face her, his eyebrows raised in slight surprised as he could see thin olive tears dripping down her face and a small smile on Nepeta's face as she gave a forced laugh.

“S-So you knew then?" She spoke out, hardly above a whisper. She shook her head, as if she herself could not believe it. “I guess I really was being stupid with that whole flush crush thing.” 

Karkat's face tinted slightly from embarrassment. God, it seemed like he made this whole situation way worse. He could clearly see how bad he had hurt her; he should have told her this long ago instead of letting this drag on. He had hoped that she would get that he wasn't flushed for her on her own. He sighed, opening his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted. “n-no, just, let me talk. “Nepeta sniffled out. Wiping the tears from her face, quickly collecting herself. 

“You asked why I liked you, and I can't really give you a proper answer." She said awkwardly. Karkat narrowing his eyebrows in confusion at her answer. 

“Maybe it’s how you always try to take care of everyone, always looking out for others, just so the team could get along and not crash and burn under all our stupid drama. I um, I always kind of admired that about you. You act all mean and tough, but under all those hurtful words, you really care for the people you're yelling at. I guess that’s why I never really minded when you called me all those awful names." She spoke out, shrugging her shoulder. All the while Karkat's face seemed to burn in embarrassment from the praise. 

He never had anyone openly compliment him on his leadership skills. He figured that he was a crappy leader, one who failed their team, a prize of a new universe slashed in half as well as his ego. In truth, it was refreshing to hear the praise, rather than the jeering from Terezi. She of course, took to insulating his command skills as a form of black flirting. He couldn't help but give a small smirk. Leave it to Nepeta to always find a way to glorify him. 

“I mean, it’s just....." She trailed off, the Cancer looking to her, waiting for her to continue. The cat girl giving a frustrated growl, standing up straighter, running her hand through her hair nervously. “I can’t help it ok? I couldn't help but just let my stupid feelings get in the way. I can't help liking your stupid loud mouth, or how your hair is perfectly messed up, or how cute your horns are, or how you seem to be one of the best trolls I could have ever met... and.... and I know this flush crush won't work. I know it won't, because when I see you with Terezi, you just have that look, and I.... I know that look. And it hurts... it hurts so damn much." She growls out, olive tears pooling out once more. Herself turning to the painting, still wet. The bright red heart between the two characteristic seeming to mock her. She reaches up, huffing as she smeared the paint, smudging the heart into just a blotch of red. 

The Cancer just stares in shock, his head lowering as looks away. His chest tightens as emotions start to bombard him. Guilt striking him unexpectedly. Guilt of not being able to force red feelings for her. Maybe there could be a form of pity for her if he tried, but the situation had come and pass. He knew that he couldn't now. He had Terezi to care for. He wanted to do something for her, he didn't understand why, but he felt the need to comfort her. The feeling burned thickly into his nerves, but he just couldn't muster the strength to move to her. “Nepeta... I'm so, so-" 

“No!" She yelled out, cutting him off. “No.... Just, it’s not your fault ok? Its mine. I let this stupid dream worm its way into my head and heart. God, I always thought if I could just repress these stupid feelings they would die out! But no, no matter how many times I pawed at it, it’s like a big red stain, it won't leave! As stupid as it sounds, I can't...." she licked her lips, turning to him slightly, and her body shaking as she let her feelings flood out. “It’s like I have known you for a thousand sweeps. I have this strong devotion for you, which I honestly do not know where it comes from, but it burns. It burns so much I feel like it’s going to scorch my soul till there is nothing left but ash and dust. You have no idea how much I want this feeling to stop, but I just can't get it to. It’s like I was hatched with this imprint and it bursted out once I met you. This flame is eating at me and I can't find a way to put it out!" She screeched out, her hands clenching into fists in frustration. Soft gasps coming from her as she broke into a small sob as her emotions started to unwind from her. Anger at her own self being a strong one. She stopped talking for a moment, biting down on her tongue as she turned her back to Karkat. 

"When you're with Terezi, I’m not bitter, or angry, or even jealous! I’m happy, just because she could do something I could never do for you. Karkat, I don't know if something is wrong with me. I feel like I should hate her or, just want to not even be around her. But, those feelings don’t even come close! " she whined out, moving to lean against the wall, her back sliding down it as she wiped at her eyes, bringing her knees up to rest her head on them. " I feel happy, or, at least relieved knowing that she can be the one to make you smile. And that helps that burning feeling, but only a bit. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and god am sorry if am weirding you out, but I just need to get this off my chest." She said, her voice cracking at the end. 

Karkat’s teeth clenched down on each other. He knew very well why she was feeling that way. It had something to do this those stupid ancestors they had. To be honest he always thought those stories where just to give higher bloods a bigger ego boost. Unfortunately, after some time he began to learn about his own ancestors as well as his teams. More importantly Nepeta’s. She was stuck with the bad end of the deal, he had to guess. She was pretty much curse to have feelings for him, it being passed down from her ancestor. It was a love that transcended the quadrants. Too bad all he had from his ancestor was rage. " Nepeta, I think you're really fucking weird, no I think you're bat shit crazy, but not because of your feelings." He sighed out in an attempt to make her feel at least a bit better. 

The Cancer moved to her, kneeling down in front of the heart player, looking at her eyes, wincing as his own met hers. Instead he took her left hand in his, rubbing it a bit, not really caring that the thick red paint on her hand was smearing on his as well. " I think your weird because of all the stupid shit you do, like pretending to be a cat, or wearing that stupid ass hat, and even listening to that bulge muncher of a palemate. " he huffed out, Nepeta all the while turned her head away giving a small scoff. “But I don't think you're weird because of how you feel. You can't control that. And I kind of guess, if things could go the right way for once in my fucked up life, and if I could change some things as well, I think.... I think I could possibly try out something a bit red with you. “He muttered out.

She looked up to him, keeping quiet as she tried to think for a moment. A soft sigh coming from her as she finally looked away. “You’re just saying that so I can feel better..." 

Karkat narrowed his eyes, himself giving a small scrawl at her words. He gently squeezed her hand to get her attention back on him. “No I’m not, I’m being as fucking serious as a god damn heart attack ok? I know how you have been feeling for a while now, and I'm a real asshole for jumping around it, thinking that me and Terezi would have this magical sort of fucking matespritship. Maybe if I would have said something to you, whether it had been that I just didn't feel the same way, or even given you a fair chance maybe I could have helped you.... I just.... want to make it up to you is all. And you know what, I fucking promise I will. “He muttered out, squeezing her hand once more. 

He looked over her face, a small sad grin playing on her lips as she used her free hand to dry away the olive tears that had spilled. “T-Thanks Karkat.... but don't make promises you can't keep ok?” She purred out softly. Karkat opened his mouth to reply, but she stopped him. “It looks like you're about to wake up Karcat. Watch ovfur all our friends ok? “She said to him hastily. Her white eyes glistened with some sort of emotion he could not place as her grip tightened around his. His form flickering slightly in front of her. 

All Karkat could do was wake up with a start. He gasped slightly as he sat up, wincing as he could feel his head throbbing in pain. Blinking, he looked around his surroundings, recognizing the old dry painting of Nepeta and him. The paintings now faded slightly after three years. He looked over the painting, the heart between them still intact if not faded due to the lack of paint. 

He moved him hand to feel the back of his head. His own stupid ass had fell over and toppled over the crates that had covered her drawing, causing him to get knocked out. Growling, he pulled his hand away as he felt wetness behind his head. Worried that he may have started bleeding. Though, looking closer to it, he realized that it was just paint.  
His eyes flickered back to the old painting, a fresh wave of emotion flooding him as he moved to it. Himself raising his hand as he traced the faded heart with the paint on his hand, filling it in as best as he could. He could feel his eyes sting as tears threatened to spill, but he held them back. “I swear I’ll keep my promise, Nepeta, I swear to all the gods I will...."


End file.
